IDENTITY CRISIS | TECHNOLOGY INFLUENCE | CULTURAL CHANGE

Obsession with Self-Identity, Sexuality, and Rewriting History

How we got where we are today

Mapping trajectory of history
Photo by Jean-Frederic Fortier on Unsplash

The cycles of history indicate that we learn nothing from history. Bondage leads to courage then to complacency and back to bondage over and over and over again. When will we ever learn?

Cycles of history

To clarify the path that nations and cultures follow, the cycles of history seem to explain what happens over time. First, people oppose the bondage of their conditions. Then they have faith to search for unity based on deep moral gatherings. Next, courageous individuals fight for freedom that leads to liberty and abundance. However that focus turns to material things and selfishness (“It’s all about me and my stuff.”) From there, complacency sets in with entitlement and self-absorption. Personal responsibility is lost and apathy creates governments that cause independence to be controlled. Finally, people return to dependence where governments achieve complete control that leads back to bondage.

Tytler Cycle of History
Tytler Cycles of History from Wikipedia

Tracing the trajectory of history, Carl Trueman explains what is “symptomatic of that underlying fundamental change” over the past 200 to 300 years, citing the influence of Rousseau and Freud. Rousseau saw the inner space as positive; Freud identified it as negative. Is your body just a piece of Play-Doh?

Technology has shaped the way we think about our bodies. Think about that statement, “I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body.” Why did the doctor a hundred years ago necessarily respond to that by saying, “It’s a problem with the mind. We need to bring the mind into line with the body.” Because it was thoroughly implausible to give any other answer. The body’s fixed. The body’s sex is fixed. Now, of course, technology has trained us to think, “Well, our bodies are actually just stuff. Our bodies are really like the rest of the universe, just pieces of Play-Doh, over which we can exert our power and our will.” Technology has made that plausible. –Carl Trueman

Crucial conversations

Professor Trueman sees dramatic changes that are taking place. In the current society in the United States and around the world, technology is also changing the way people express who they are. Have parents lost control?

YouTube and TikTok have far more authority than parents and teachers in young children’s lives today. The internet is subverting parental authority. So we have that aspect. Those are all things that would form our identity being shattered or weakened in dramatic ways that make the expressive individual even stronger. –Carl Trueman

If Christianity has been disemboweled to a significant extent to undermine the nation, what is the solution? Can values be handed off to the next generation?

I think Christianity has been so rapidly disemboweled and so rapidly shunted to the margins of Western society that the hope for a national transformation has to be very small at this point. –Carl Trueman

The response he suggests is related to our circle of influence. Don’t hope that there will be a return to “the way it was” or the national foundational principles. Instead, recognize where your own individual impact is: Christ in you, the hope of glory. You are the light of the world.

Revisionist history

Historical narratives, historical facts — signs and symbols — are subject to being undermined when there is an identity crisis within a culture.

If the individual is a matter of inner feelings and desires, then everything that imposes upon those things becomes oppressive. Historical narratives that don’t affirm me become narratives of oppression. History becomes a nightmare. History becomes something that presses down on me and prevents me from being myself. When that explodes in the public square in dramatic forms, it becomes a need for a dramatic forgetting, a removal of those signs and symbols of an allegedly oppressive past, whether it’s Abraham Lincoln or Christopher Columbus. It’s not enough to simply offer a critique of such symbols. They have to be removed because their very existence is a witness against my own self-identity. History pivots to the victim. When expressive individualism emerges as a force, when it emerges as a normative self, history pivots to the victim. History becomes not something that forms us but something that denies us, that oppresses us, that refuses to acknowledge us. –Carl Trueman

Implications for expressive individualism

Responsibility has its rewards. To first identify the destination of philosophical conclusions, examine how we got where we are today. Look at where we will end up — on the trash heap of history in a state of bondage — or rise above to survive and thrive. History tends to repeat itself.

Actions have consequences.

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I Love You so What Does That Mean?

Define the four loves and diagram the subject for greater clarity

I love you
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

I love you. “I” is the subject. The verb is love. The direct object is you. Since love is a transitive verb, you are the recipient of what I, the initiator, am giving you, the object of my love. To take these abstract concepts and make this sentence more concrete, a diagram helps.

Importance of the subject

The integrity of the subject makes all the difference in the kind of love that is revealed. If the love offered to you is from a position of honor and respect, that love is trustworthy.

If that “love” is from the words of an untrustworthy, self-centered person who has ulterior motives to deceive you by saying, “I love you,” start running away! It’s a trick to get something from you.

Love in English is one word with various meanings. In Greek, there are four words for love, as explained by C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves: agape, storge, philia, and eros. The first three are in the Bible. The last is not.

Agape — unconditional “God” love

Charity (agápē, Greek: ἀγάπη) is the love that exists regardless of changing circumstances.

Wikipedia

In other words, God’s love is not dependent on the object of His love. He does not love you if you respond. Because His love does not depend on who you are, what you do, or what you say, agape love is the highest love. No conditions — just come as you are. For Christians who are becoming more like Christ, this love is supernatural, only possible by God’s Holy Spirit. This kind of love is not normal, not natural to human beings. This selfless love might be imitated, but true sacrificial love is a heartfelt surrender to God’s will and purpose.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

John 3:16, NKJV

God loves without conditions. This is the highest form of love God loves whoever, unconditionally — no qualifications needed. That’s you.

Philia — friend bond

The second kind of love is called friendship love or philia. Clearly, the friendship between David and Jonathan was a bond of care and concern. The camaraderie of spending time together in their youth brought them closer. They watched out for each other.

Then Jonathan, Saul’s son, arose and went to David in the woods and strengthened his hand in God. And he said to him, “Do not fear, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you. Even my father Saul knows that.” So the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. And David stayed in the woods, and Jonathan went to his own house.”

1 Samuel 23:16–18, NKJV

Few people have close friends. Some say they have lots of friends. However, there is a difference. Close friends are different than mere acquaintances. Faithful friends through the years are to be valued. Acquaintances come and go.

Philia (Greek: φιλία) is the love between friends as close as siblings in strength and duration. The friendship is the strong bond existing between people who share common values, interests or activities. Our species does not need friendship in order to reproduce, but to the classical and medieval worlds, it is a higher-level love because it is freely chosen.

Wikipedia

Philadelphia, the city in ancient times, and a city in Pennsylvania in the USA is called, “the city of brotherly love.” Caring for each other as friends and neighbors is a higher love. Philia love is conditional. In other words, you choose your friends based on qualities you like in them, interests you share with them, and affinities that bring you together.

Storge — empathy bond

Similar to philia love is storge. You did not choose the family that you were born into. You are expected to love your family members. Although this love may seem like it is supposed to be unconditional, there are expectations of behavior that intervene. Family love is the expectation of a safe environment of care and community from the parents. The subject is expected to love the object. The child is the object.

Storge (storgēGreekστοργή) is liking someone through the fondness of familiarity, family members or people who relate in familiar ways that have otherwise found themselves bonded by chance. An example is the natural love and affection of a parent for their child. It is described as the most natural, emotive, and widely diffused of loves: It is natural in that it is present without coercion, emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity, and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed “valuable” or worthy of love and, as a result, is able to transcend most discriminating factors. Lewis describes it as a dependency-based love which risks extinction if the needs cease to be met.

Wikipedia

However, if there is “smothering love” where the parents over-control, the natural love tends to confine the free will of adult children. While the Ten Commandments say to “Honor your parents,” that does not mean to obey them far into adulthood. Take commands from your Heavenly Father — the One who loves you and has a plan for your life.

That means if there is no alignment with God’s will, you will have to disobey your parents. That is not the same as dishonoring them. You are the object of His love. Just like you are the object of your parents’ love, they have to learn to let you go. God does. You are now the subject who can choose to honor and respect God, the object of your love.

Eros — romantic love

The last Greek term for love is eros. It is not in the Bible. The word comes from a Greek god in mythology. When people in the modern world use the term love, especially in advertising and media, they use it as a synonym for erotic or romantic, physical attraction to another.

Lewis warned against the modern tendency for Eros to become a god to people who fully submit themselves to it, a justification for selfishness, even a phallic religion. After exploring sexual activity and its spiritual significance in both a pagan and a Christian sense, he notes how Eros (or being in love) is in itself an indifferent, neutral force: how “Eros in all his splendour … may urge to evil as well as good.”

Wikipedia

The term eros is more self-centered. Obviously, there is a bonafide love and attraction, a fire that is contained by the boundaries of marriage, in a healthy society that both the Old and New Testaments describe.

Love given and love received

Giving love and receiving love are part of life. Sometimes you are the object. Sometimes you are the subject. Attaching to an object of your love is part of being human. That’s why it’s important to know what kind of love you are expecting from someone and giving to someone.

The unconditional love of agape is the highest goal, independent of the object. You are loving from your own integrity — you are the subject. All the other kinds of love are conditional love, and dependent. In order for relationships to survive and thrive in philiastorge, and eros love, nourish and develop agape love first for long-term love of all kinds that benefit everyone around you.

How to Know Your Life Purpose

Ask the right questions to discover who you are and what to do

Ask
Photo by Miquel Parera on Unsplash

What can you do that you couldn’t do a year ago? If you seek to find out more about who you are and what you are called to do, you will be more fulfilled. Sure, there are different seasons in life. You may wear various hats along the way, but the essence of who you are and why you are here now is essentially the same.

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”

Galatians 6:4–5 (MSG)

Finding out who you are and what you are to do in life is essential to finding greater purpose — a reason for living. Jordan Ring responded to Finding Your Purpose with these words:

“I like the idea that comes from the Japanese word Ikigai for discovering purpose:

1) What do you love?

2) What can you do for others?

3) How will it make you money?

4) What am I really good at?

I was pleased as punch to find another person out there in the blogosphere that is trying to help Christians with these important questions. Just because we know where we are going for eternity doesn’t mean the here and now isn’t important. There is lots to do and lots that God wants from us! At least, that’s what I think.

Jordan Ring

More questions to ask to discover your purpose

These 5 questions help to center your focus. Adam Leipzig asks his audience on a TedTalk to respond to these quickly, shouting out responses at once. From there he helps them to create a sentence that becomes a clearer picture of life purpose for them.

  1. Who are you?
  2. What do you do?
  3. Who do you do it for?
  4. What do they want or need?
  5. How do they change or transform as a result of what you give them?

Analysis

  • Questions #1 and #2 are about yourself.
  • Questions #3–4–5 are about other people. Who are “they” and what do they want or need that will transform them?

Happier people make it a point to make other people happy, and do things that make them feel well taken care of and secure. If you make other people happy, life teaches us, we will be taken care of, too. So, when somebody asks you a question like “What do you do?” say the very last thing you called out — how what you do changes the people you do it for.

Adam Leipzig

Examples

Sometimes you might not catch how to do this for yourself. Try to replace your 1–5 responses with what he suggests from these examples.

Start with #5: “I give kids awesome dreams.”
Life Purpose: “I (1) write books (2) for children (3), so they can fall asleep at night (4), so they can have awesome dreams (5).”

Start with #5:”I help people look and feel their best.”
Life Purpose: “I (1) design apparel (2) for men and women (3) who need affordable choices (4), so they can look and feel their best (5).”

Start with #5:”I help people get great work into the world.”
Life Purpose: “I (1) train entrepreneurs and creative people (2) to take decisive actions (3) so they can get their greatest work into the world (5).”

That little snippet that you just said becomes your personal elevator pitch.

Adam Leipzig

And it will always start a conversation because the person that you were just talking to has to ask you a question,

“How do you give kids great dreams?”
“How do you help people look and feel their best?”
“Can people really get their greatest work into the world?”

And then you get to tell them, and you get to share your life purpose. And you get to share how they may come to learn theirs, too.

Adam Leipzig

From theory to practice, you can create your own life purpose. Try answering these questions for yourself. Formulate a sentence. Draw diagrams. Take time to examine your life and sink yourself into that. Experiment with words. Ask others to reflect what you do so that you can become more objective about formulating concepts that are practical and give you direction.

Is It Really Worth Your Time?

Worthless work is frustrating without God in it

Nisi Dominus Frustra
City of Edinburgh Coat of Arms from Wikipedia

Where do you spend your time and energy? Will it last, or is your labor useless (in vain)? Your response to that question will determine your priorities.

“Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it.”

Psalm 127:1 (KJV)

In 1792, the city of Edinburgh in Scotland adopted the motto Nisi Dominus Frustra that means “Except the Lord in Vain.” This stained glass window is in the city chambers to remind them not to do work that is frustrating in the end.

If you determine God’s will for your best next step, your labor will not be lost. Take time to identify God’s unique plan about where to spend the time and energy He has given you for today.

“And consider this: How would you rather spend your time? Fact is, if you’d be happier doing something else, cut your losses and go for it. Most writers I know wouldn’t be happy doing anything else. The human heart was made to do the work of its calling, and if you’re a writer, your calling is to write and serve people with your writing.”

Chad Allen

3 Factors That Determine How Happy You Can Be Anytime

How to identify what you can control and what to let go

Happy as a puppy
Photo by Joe Caione on Unsplash

If you knew what could make you happy

If you knew specifically what would make you a happy person, you might try to find out what to do next. Some options for action you can control. Some you cannot.

Defining the difference between two words helps to clarify meanings. Joy is not the same as happiness since happiness tends to be temporary. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, expressed in Galatians 5:22.

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace [relationship to God];

patience, kindness, goodness [relationship to others];

faithfulness, gentleness, self-control [relationship to self].

Galatians 5:20-21

Walter goes deeper into Self-Control in his recent article on New Creation publication.

You can be joyful anytime by acknowledging that you cannot control everything. Instead, the joyful spirit comes from being led by the Holy Spirit, surrendering to His leading. God chose you. You are chosen. His righteousness clothes you to put off the old and put on the new way of life, taking up your cross and following Jesus.

Walking your talk does not mean trying harder. “Walking your talk” means surrendering moment by moment to God’s way, God’s Word, God’s will.

Happiness depends on what you can and cannot control

Some circumstances you can control. Some you cannot. You can control what you eat, even when you feel pressured to clean or plate or to please the host by a second helping of calories you don’t need or want. It’s ok to say no to others.

You can control your response.

You cannot control the weather when it rains or when the sun shines. You can accept the rain and not complain. You can accept the warmth of the sun to sweat out the toxins and be grateful for the humidity that makes the corn and the grass grow! “In everything give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18), not necessarily for everything.

3 factors of happiness

  1. Circumstances are 10% of what comprises happiness. That is often temporary. You get something new. You go somewhere you want. You are with someone you enjoy. You have partial control over that kind of happiness. For me, I like dogs — most dogs. They smile. They wag their tails. They jump sometimes when they see you. That’s circumstantial happiness.
  2. Your personality with your unique biochemistry makes up about 50% of why you can be happy or not. Maybe you are born with as a sanguine, happy-go-lucky, go-with-the-flow mindset from the beginning. On the other hand, you might have been born with a more melancholic personality that tends towards sadness. Winnie the Pooh characters reflect those styles and states of mind. You have partial control over that kind of happiness, too. Most of your personality and biochemistry is not in your control. You were born with it, but that does not mean you have to remain at one extreme or the other. Behavior modification is possible to a certain extent.
  3. Lifestyle practices are the last 40% that you have complete control over. Happiness studies over decades of significant research verify this one. Investing in yourself is essential, according to Dr. Henry Cloud.

“Well-being is not only under your control, but it’s a collection of basically what I’m going to call life practices, which consists of your thinking patterns, your relationships, how you look at certain kinds of spiritual realities — things like gratitude and forgiveness and a whole bunch of stuff.”

Dr. Henry Cloud

Identifying what you can control and what to let go

Am I happy or not now? I like to write, and so I think I am more happy when I am writing than at other times. However, I am continuing to be content in all circumstances — even other stuff I do not like to do — learning to be at peace with who I am, and practicing healthy boundaries that increase my happiness factors.

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 | In Everything Give Thanks

May your mind be drawn continually to the character of our God.

May you rejoice always
by remembering that the God who goes with you
is the same God who formed the world,
who made the sun rise this morning,
and who sent His Son to give you new life.

May you pray without ceasing,
remembering that Jesus not only
thanked His Father for daily bread,
but He also spent His darkest night
praying and looking to Him alone.

May you give thanks in all circumstances
by remembering the things that we know by faith are unchanging — –
namely, that the love of God endures forever
and nothing can separate you
from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you.
May the Lord lift up His countenance to you and give you peace.
” Numbers 6:24-26

Your Words Matter

Words reflect thoughts that reflect motives

Your words matter. Out of the heart the mouth speaks.
Skitterphoto from Pexel.com

What is the difference between human beings and animals?

Words distinguish human beings from animals and other forms of life. No evolution theory explains that.

When God spoke words, whatever God said came into existence.

I am using Word to write about words

WordPress is a tool for communication.

Passwords protect privacy.

Words have meaning.

Words can heal.

Scripture

“In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God” (John 1:1).
The Bible Project — Overview: John 1–12

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1). One word made a difference. God spoke and the world came into existence in Genesis. Creation is intentional.

“In the beginning was the Word” is an obvious allusion to Genesis 1 when God created everything with His Word. Now a person’s words–they’re distinct from that person, but they’re also the embodiment of that person’s mind and will, and so John says that God’s Word was with God (that is distinct), and yet the Word was God (that is divine) and as we ponder this claim we hear later that this Divine Word became human in Jesus. Then John goes on to draw from the stories of Exodus, saying that Jesus was God’s Tabernacle in our midst. The glorious divine presence that hovered over the Ark of the Covenant became a human in Jesus, which leads to his last claim that the one true God of Israel consists of God the Father and the Son who has become human to reveal the Father to us.

Healthy Self-Talk

Forgive yourself.

See yourself as God sees you. You are created in God’s image to become the person He created you to be, not by your own effort, but by the power of God’ Spirit residing in you through your surrender to His leading.

What you say is who you are

Words reflect thoughts that reveal motives.

“Trust but verify.”

President Ronald Reagan

Words can hurt

The tongue is the rudder of the soul. Put skid chains on your tongue. Put-downs from others might be absorbed and repeated. Lies are intentional coverups that resemble “gaslighting” techniques to deny someone’s reality.

Negative self-talk can lead to depression, feeling trapped, “walking on eggshells,” loss of hope, …suicide. Medical and mental challenges merge to steal, kill, and destroy people.

God’s Bridge a Gap

Move towards transformation by identifying your best next steps

Image from online presentation from Legacy

God’s Bridge to eternal life means crossing through Jesus Christ. This is the essential first step towards transformation. Jesus gave His life so that we might be saved.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16, NIV).

The first step

The first step is a baby step of faith, trusting God to transfer us safely — in an instant — to the other side. That’s called salvation. We are saved from ourselves, saved from death, saved from falling in the gap that separates us from God.

The question is, “What does believe mean?”

Believing, therefore, is not a mere intellectual ascent. Believing means action taken to follow Jesus — connecting what we know to do and doing that. A follower means following. Action depends on the heart relationship with Jesus, not nominal labels.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’” (Matthew 7:21–23, ESV).

Our human spirit is then invaded by the Holy Spirit of God to indwell within us. Because His Spirit lives in us, we are now in the family of God. God wants everyone to be saved, but not all people are willing to accept the free gift that He offers through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus. God does not desire ritualistic practice. God wants a heart-felt relationship with us.

The next step

Baby Christians need support and spiritual food. That’s the next step to growing. We do not grow in isolation. “Come-along-siders” are those disciples who make disciples. Disciple makers are disciplemakers who are called and chosen (all real followers of Jesus Christ are chosen to do this) to hand off their faith.